If You Only Live Once, You Better Be Livin' Large

If I tried to create a post for every amazing moment and adventure we had in Key Largo, you would probably stop reading my posts. I mean, I'm entertaining and all but I can talk a lot.  Therefore, I decided to mesh some of the most memorable ones into one post and then the rest I can tell you about later mom.

SNORKEL ADVENTURES AND A VERY KEY LARGO SEA WORLD (Theater of the Sea)

Let me get this out of the way.  There are two physical activities that I have a hard time enjoying because they do not make me look sexy no matter how hard I try, and they remind me very badly of how out of shape I am.  They are golf and snorkeling.  The first time I went to a driving range I threw out my shoulder for about a week and didn't even hit the ball.  Snorkeling, well, kind of a whole different beast.

You see, on a beautiful sunny day I suppose I might have done fine.  Well, even.  But alas, the day we decided to snorkel the waves were about two to three feet and it's all you can do at that point to keep from flopping around looking like a suffocating fish.  Which I assure you I did.  We saw some sting ray and some pretty cool coral reefs, which was awesome.  I'm not trying to deny that.  But when it comes down to it I'm going to put snorkeling right up there on the list of things that I just don't really care enough to become good at. Along with crossword puzzles and softball.  Still a pretty good day :)

On a totally different note, there is this place in Key Largo that every single person in their lives should experience.  It is called the Theater of the Sea.  Along with everything else in Key Largo, it is not at all what you expect it to be. The best way I can think of to describe it would be if the owner of Sea World and the creator of the show Gator Boys got together and adopted some sea life and wanted to showcase it to the public, it would be called Theater of the Sea.  We saw an awesome dolphin show, giant turtles and alligators, shit-talked some parrots and I got kissed by a sea lion. Best. Day. Ever.

Big Ol' Turtles! They were all injured in one way or another and this place saved them :)

You could either give a sea lion a hug or get a kiss. Um, hellloooo. Pucker up you silly mammal.

BARTENDER'S BASH

This day single handedly made moving down to the Keys a great idea.  For all of you Colorado people, you have either been to the Great American Beer Fest or you've heard of it.  And if you have not been, stop reading this post right now and buy yourself tickets and sprint there.  Now down in Key Largo, there is this thing that is technically called the "Hospitality Expo," that the locals call "Bartender's Bash," that I call a very very very bad idea.  But the best bad idea EVER.  Similar to beer fest, you pay a cover and then you can drink all your little liver can handle for a couple hours.  Except instead of just beer, there is liquor, mixed drinks, shots, and probably a lot of drugs knowing the keys.  Who in their right mind thought that getting a bunch of bartenders and servers together and giving them unlimited amounts of alcohol in hundred degree weather was a good idea????!!!!!  I don't know, but if you are ever reading this blog, please call me or email me because I want to be friends.

There's really not much to be said because whatever you think of after reading the aforementioned description is correct and real and happened.  Highlights of the day include:

- Hitchhiking down the Keys to get there because we didn't want to pay for a cab
- Discovering the beauty that is a "Limerita," and how quickly it gets you shitfaced
- Getting so drunk I actually thought I met Hugh Heffner
- Watching a drunk guy almost get tasered next to me in the girls bathroom
- Watching people puke in the ocean and then drunk couples get in and swim around/make out in it
- Watching black-out Dillon do a back flip off the dock (Sorry Martha!) and then tell some little Hispanic girl to stop calling him Bobby (she was calling him Papi)

And the list goes on and on.......
Ahhh Key Largo, you will be missed :)

Our neighbor, Iggy

Key Largo Beer Pong! Needed: Only a bedroom door and bottle caps

The boys: Koty, Dillon, Ball and Nutty

Love you boys!!!!

Christmas in July in December

 
 Ok, so Key Largo doesn't really have seasons. In fact it really doesn't have seasons. However, this does prove very nice when December rolls around and there's no shoveling, scraping ice of your car, waiting in traffic an extra hour anywhere, and you still frequent the pool and beach and wear flip flops every day.  Have I proved my point?

The holidays this year were unlike any other Dillon, Avery and I have had before.  In Colorado, you have pine trees and snow and eggnog.  In Key Largo, you have palm trees and swimsuits and tequila.  Broke as a joke we were by the time Thanksgiving and Christmas rolled around, so we had our very own Family Dollar Christmas.  We decorated our tiny apartment and dressed our little palm tree all up with hand made construction paper chains and cut outs of snowflakes, and I'll be damned if we weren't the merriest little elves in the Keys. :)

Also, our job decided to be pretty freakin awesome and throw us all a Christmas party.  We ate, we were merry, and that's when the dancing started.  Awwww shit son, that Dillon can shake his booty :) Certainly a holiday season that I will never forget.

Us and the Ball. Andrew Ball.

Me, Danny, Yolanda, Sandra and Leslie

The boys: Jason, Dillon, Koty, Andrew and Devin. Oh man do I miss my boys!!!

Halloween and Pirate Fest

Yes, I said "Pirate Fest."  And yes this is a real thing.  If you know Dillon and I, you know that we pretty much jump at the opportunity to dress up and look like idiots for a cause.  So when we found out that October down here not only means Halloween, it also means that the weekend before that comes Pirate Fest, needless to say we were damn excited. 

Pretty much it's exactly what it sounds like.  Every single person in town dresses up like pirates for the weekend in honor of this scallywag Black Caesar, whom as far as I know is only known for stealing and assault.  Why Key Largo has a weekend in remembrance of him I don't understand but the important part was that we got to dress up like freaking pirates!  And I must say, Dillon and I had a little too much fun thrift store shopping.  I will never forget the bright red pair of women's pants that fit him like a damn glove.

 The next week was my favorite holiday, Halloween.  Unlike every other year, we were really good at not procrastinating and putting off our costumes to the last minute.  The result was a couple of bad-ass homemade Poison Ivy and The Riddler outfits. We showed up at work all decked out and I must say, it was one of the better Halloweens I can remember. :)

Key Largo Livin'

 Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty momma, Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go.....
 
Ok, so I have not so much been keeping up on the blog.  But never fear, inspiration has struck!  I will attempt to catch up on the working vacation that has been the last year of our lives!  That being said, it is so damn beautiful here, it's already in the 90's.  A lot has happened since we moved ourselves down here and it has been one of the best experiences to learn from each other, and also to figure out what the next step will be in our gypsy lifestyles. 

Dear God this past year has been amazing.  It has flown by for sure, it seems like we just got here yesterday! Since I'm pretty sure in my last blog we had just gotten here and gotten jobs, I have a lot to catch you all up on.  From The Big Chill, Key West days, Pirate Fest, Bartender's Bash, chiggers, and Theater of the Sea to the beautiful sunsets and all of the friends we've made....there just isn't anything quite like Key Largo Living.